i’ve very recently gone on a date that was not all that. actually, it really sucked. big time. after it was over i felt like going home, curl up on my bed and cry into my cat’s fur- he wouldn’t have liked it, but he’d take one for the team, i’m sure.
how did it come to the date? well, a friend of mine suggested i get ”tinder”. it’s an app that locates people in your vicinity with the same application. it’s very woman friendly, as you get to ”like” or ”nope” the people that show up on your locator feed, before they see your profile. basically, if you ”like” someone, only then they can see your profile. once there’s a ”match” (both liked eachother), you can start chatting. my girls and i installed it- just for fun, of course!
after some browsing through the app, this blurry picture of a guy’s profile shows up. despite the blur, i felt like there was something i can work with- i could see just about enough of him to give it a go. what do you know- it was a match!
we get to chitchatting, mainly about what we do to keep cool in the crazy heat we had in vienna. i mentioned going for viennese ice coffee was a regular thing besides being poolside most of the day, and he suggested to meet up for a coffee. he seemed nice enough, so i agreed. we set for the next day, early afternoon. around noon that day, he texts about trouble at work, and if we can postpone to the next day. sure! no problems, sunday afternoon it is!
right, i’m getting ready to go meet this guy, i choose a cute yet effortless outfit of dark denim shorts with tiny little white stars, and a blush pink cami top. we were set to meet at 4 pm- we were only meeting for half an hour, as he had plans with friends and was catching a plane later that evening- totally fine for a first date. at 3:55 he texts me ”if i know how long i’m going to be”.
ummm, ok… it’s not that i’m late, and was just around the corner, so i text back ”2 mins”. once at the cafe, i perform a quick scan of the place but don’t spot someone that could be my blurry date, so i text him that i’m there, and am finding a place to sit. maybe he is running late, that’s why he asked how long i was going to be…
as soon as i sit and whip out my phone, i hear chairs moving and a figure appears by the table. i look up, and the guy asks: ”nadia?”
two thoughts cross my mind instantly- 1. we’ve been texting for two days, the name of the user is right at the top of every chat window- and you STILL get my name wrong? what the hell is wrong with you, man?
2. i’ve seen this guy during my scan! but dismissed him right away because he looks sixteen, not 28!
whatever, i’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, even if i’m a little irritated, stand up and shake his hand, saying ”it’s nadine actually, but close enough i guess.” as soon as he sits down, he asks me if i’m still up for ice coffee, as it’s not that hot anymore. given that it still was 29 degrees C, i was seriously wondering if this guy just has a pretty lame sense of humor, or if he’s serious. i told him i thought it was warm enough to still get two scoops of vanilla ice cream in coffee, yes.
viennese ice coffee
moments later the waitress shows up, and wants to take our order. he asks her if they served ice coffee, she says ”yes of course”! then, he asks how much it costs. when she answers 5 euros, he deems it a fair price, as he says ”thats ok, i’d like an ice coffee”. i’m honestly speechless by now. seriously, how much did you think it was going to cost? this guy is not doing himself any favors…
i proceed with ordering one too, and try to start a conversation. i ask what kind of job entails an emergency on a saturday afternoon, and he informs me that he ”actually lives and works in london, but is in vienna for business over the weekend.” is this guy for real? how in any way, is that an answer to my question? so i make myself clearer: ”what is it that you do?” ” oh finance, investment blablablabla (don’t actually remember, i was so fascinated, obviously), but i don’t really want to talk about what i do, as it doesn’t have a very good reputation. what do you do?” so i tell him that i’m in between jobs right now, and enjoying the summer, but that i used to work at a bank in the communications sector, and didn’t really like it. at that, he proceeds to freely recount how the firm he works at just pulled a gajillion euro deal with said bank, and just keeps on going on and on about money and work… i’m sorry, didn’t you not want to talk about work? why am i being treated to such a riveting tale?
when he’s done, he asks me if i’m still going to the pool today. i answer that it’s too late now, but that i was looking forward to spending the whole next day in the water. you know what his next question is? ”when do you get off work?” i kind of blankly stare at him at this point, and explain very slowly that right now, i’m not working, but when i used to work, i would get off around 5 pm. wow. did this guy not listen to a word i said? what is wrong with you, man!?
as the allotted time for the date comes to an end, i’m beyond happy, and when he starts getting antsy, i beckon the waitress over so that we can pay and i can get the hell out of there. needless to say, he doesn’t even attempt to stop me paying for my own ice coffee, and proceeds to pay for his own. don’t get me wrong, i really didn’t want him to pay for it, but it’s about the gesture, the principle of gallantry- no, not gallantry, manners!
when we walk out, he suggests we should add eachother on facebook- i say sure, but my mind is saying no way. i ask him for his last name. ”i’ll whatsapp it to you.” wow. such mystery. not for the first time, but what is wrong with you, man!?
at the end, he looks for a car2go, and i spot one across the street; when he makes no move to go to it, i ask him ”don’t you need it? well then bye!” we shake hands, and i speedwalk into the distance.
this is the second date i’ve been on recently, and even though the first one was great, but sadly there was absolutely no chemistry, this date made me feel really frustrated, disappointed, sad, and most of all hopeless. where are all the good guys? taken. or gay. or just want to be friends. isn’t that great? time to get another cat, i think. or maybe i should spice it up with something a little more exotic like a chinchilla or a mini horse. i think my cats would like that.
hello, i’m your new roommate!